The Accident
A warm liquid substance trickled down my new white linen trousers absorbed into my socks and flowed into my shoes. I looked around wondering if anyone had noticed the little puddle I had just created on the floor. My cheeks gleamed bright red. I took a step forward, squelch! “ Ahhh, I scream inside my head”, that was a very bad idea. I take my soggy foot and place it back where I had just moved it. I have another look around my location. People are starting to stare at the girl standing with now even redder cheeks and a big yellow stain down the front of her trousers. I can see my friends heading towards me. Sweat starts to brim across my forehead, but I’m in so much anguish and embarrassment I can’t move my arm to wipe the drops that are spilling into my eyes.
The girls are just seconds away from me now. I consider my options. Quickly sit on the ground and try to absorb the little mess that I have just created, and hope that they don’t notice, then ask Sally to by me a new pair of trousers because I know she won’t laugh at me. Quickly run away and hope that they don’t see me, then run out of the shopping centre as fast as my legs will carry me. Quietly step away from the puddle and glide away; then pretend that the yellow stain is the new in thing and that they should try the new look. Then lead the group into a clothes shop and buy myself a new pair of trousers. Ball my eyes out and hope that it is all a dream and that very soon I will wake up and be out of this very embarrassing situation.
I decide that option four is a great idea, but the pinching thing really isn’t working so I’m starting to think that maybe this really is happening and that I should very quickly run away, before they laugh at me some more. “Oh no!” I’ve been standing still for so long that now I have pins and needles and I can’t move my legs. I try wiggling my toes, but there is no time, I’ll just have to make a run for it. I try and accelerate the process of my legs coming back to life, but it hurts so much. I can hear the girls giggling now. Oh I’m never going to be able to live this down. My legs have finally come back to me. I quickly manoeuvre myself around the puddle and make a run for it. I don’t think that they will follow me, but I still run as fast as I can, I really do not want to be the centre image on their phones.
The giggling of their voices is starting to quieten. I’m sure I will catch up with them later, but first I want to buy a new pair of pants. I consider running home, but to many other people will see me and it feels like every eye that I’m running past at the moment are glued to my legs. I lighten my pace, not because I’m out of immediate danger, but because I’m so puffed. Why didn’t I do more work at netball training instead of talking? I continue my now very, very slow jog when I see my favourite clothes shop. All my worries suddenly seem to vanish as well as my breathless ness as I sprint over to the entrance. I’m so engrossed in my will to get into the shop that I completely forget to look where I’m going. Bang! I look up. There standing in front of me is Sam. The guy I’ve had a crush on for years. “Why now?” I plead in my head. He stares down at me and looks straight at my yellow stained trousers. Then snickers to his friends and walks away. “Ohhh” I scream in my head, as my cheeks go redder than I have ever felt. That is the last time I ever let those girls give me a shaken bottle of V. Next time I’m buying it myself!
Interesting theme. It worked with the uncomfortable situation though.
ReplyDeleteit was enjoyable to read because you feel so sorry for the main character cause you can just imagine the embaresment being felt.
Only one bit confussed me
"I have another look around my location. People are starting to stare at the girl standing with now even redder cheeks and a big yellow stain down the front of her trousers. I can see my friends heading towards me."
It seems in this bit you change person, (1st, 2nd, 3rd) But if i'm wrong someone tell me.
Wow. There's many stories here that all seem to trick the reader. that is very good, it gives the story and interesting twist. This twist is something i would never have guessed.
ReplyDeleteIn the second paragraph, when she is laying out her options, i think there needs to be something to distinguish from the different options, because i got the point, but i started to get a little confused, when one option started to bleed into the next.
I'm glad someone decided to write a humorous story. I really enjoyed reading this. I also like the ending. Great job! My eyes are hurting from reading all these stories.
ReplyDeleteAhahahaha. Love it! It fit so well with the awkward situation and the twist at the end was funny. I like that it was humourous rather than serious.
ReplyDeleteYour last paragraph probably needed to be split, I think 'Bang!' should have been the start of a new paragraph. New idea, new paragraph?
Good work =)
I wasn't big on the twist to be honest, it seemed a little unsatisfactory. I did like the majority of the story though, as it certainly made you feel for the main character. Nice work.
ReplyDeleteYou used BY instead of BUY in the beginning of the second paragraph!
ReplyDeleteYes, i'm sorry but i also agree with Josh.The twist wasn't very effective.I actually hinted it was a similar substance to V when i read the first sentence.I don't know i think it's the way the first paragraph reads- that's just me though lol. Despite that, the story flows and reads well.It is emotive and very interesting.
Good work!!!