It’s pretty stupid, if I do say so myself. And I do say so. I was acting childish and I knew it. I’m 16, I’m meant to be a big girl now. Actually, that’s probably why I resented this so much. What happened to choice? Where’d it go? That’s what sucks about being 16. They want you to act like an adult, be a grown up, but they won’t listen to what you want unless you act like a child.
Arguments punctuated the short drive at first. Then a tense silence cast its net over the top of our words and we gave up. Both of us were hell bent on having our own way. I was trying so hard not to be immature but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to go through with this. I didn’t want this choice made for me. It was meant to be my decision, and even though she’d somehow made it sound like it was, I knew it wasn’t.
I sat there waiting, brooding on possible ways to escape. But it was useless, they were guarding the door. And she was sitting next to me. She was going to wait.
He called me into his room and I sat down slowly, determined to drag this out and make it as awkward as possible for him. Looking around warily at my surroundings I notice the bareness of it. The place was cold and impersonal, and I decided I hated it.
He just looked at me.
His eyes bored into mine, trying to decipher me. They danced with the dare to talk first. To tell him why I was here, of all the places I could be at this moment. Looking into his face, I accepted the challenge I found there. Resignation swallowed my pride as I dropped my previously steady expression.
‘I’m here to see about the pill.’
There was a really good build up to the revelation at the end. The "issue" the story was about could have been anything and the lead up kept me hooked to find out. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThis is what you call a -short- story! It could of been longer.On the other side of that i would call it a challenge to be able to write a story of that length and in our exam thats exactly what we have to do!
ReplyDeleteIt seems like you injected a bit of your own individual insight into your story- the beginning perhaps?
Your story was very captivating and i wasn't expecting the ending, i thought there was going to be some fight or something and she would learn something from it.I like your ending.
Great effort!
I don't think it needed to be longer. As a suspense story it works perfectly, the tension and curiosity are driven to a very elegant peak.
ReplyDeleteGreat twist too!